Computer of Health

One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts.

I guess I should see a doctor." His friend said, "Don't do that.

There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything

quicker and cheaper than a doctor.

Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer

Will diagnose

your problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it

only costs $10.00."

Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar

with a urine

sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer,

he poured in

the sample and deposited the $10.00. The computer started

making some

noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief

pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:

You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid

heavy labor. It will be better in two weeks.......

That evening while thinking how amazing this new

technology was and

how it would change medical science forever, he began to

wonder if

this could be fooled. He decided to give it a try.

He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his

dog, and

urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off,

he masturbated into the concoction.

He went back to the drug store, located the computer,

poured in the

sample and deposited the $10.00.

The machine again made the usual noises, flashed lights,

and

printed

out the following analysis:

Get a water softener.

Your dog has ringworm.

Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

Your daughter is using cocaine.

Put her in a rehabilitation clinic

Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't

yours.

Get a lawyer.

And if you don't stop jerking off, your elbow will never

Get better!

back!